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TOM GREEN - November 19, 2005
GUY MACPHERSON: How are you going to change the
internet?
TOM GREEN: Well, I'm having a lot of fun on my website
with the interactivity of the whole medium, which is a
lot different from TV. And I'm having a lot of fun
with video right now. I just got this recently, a
30-gigabyte camera which records about seven hours of
digital dv-quality footage and I can just plug it in
and instantly upload it. It's brand new; it's about a
month old. I kinda always try to get the newest
camera. So I can often be very inspired in the middle
of the night and make a ridiculous movie with my
parents or something like that and within 15, 20
minutes I've got kids in Norway and Hungary and the UK
and America and Canada all e-mailing me about it. I
think it's really kind of a neat, new frontier in a
lot of ways. In a lot of ways I feel it's kind of like
the way the pioneers of television must have felt when
TV came out and nobody knew what to do with it. That's
kinda what I feel the internet's like right now.
There's a lot of stuff on there that... After you've
watched porn, and after you've sort of maybe found
some cool sites where you can watch some beheadings or
something like that, you start to say, 'Well, what's
really on here?' There's news. It's good for news. You
can download television shows and movies but why would
you bother doing that to watch it on a tiny little
screen. You could watch it on a TV screen.
GM: Unless it's an original movie.
TG: Unless it's an original movie, but there's not
really anybody who's doing original movies on the
internet. There's a lot of original, real, sort of
lo-fi amateur stuff, which is fun to watch for a
while, but after a while.... It's a neat thing. It's a
different thing. I don't think the internet really is
going to become about making funny movies to put on
the internet; I think it's about the interactivity. I
gave my cell phone number out on the site a couple of
days ago [1-310-717-1919]. You can turn it [the cell
phone] on right there if you want and you can probably
take some calls. Just flip it on. There'll be calls
coming in.
GM: I don't know how. I don't have a cell phone.
TG: I don't really have one anymore, either. Turn it
on.
GM: It's not only pop culture I don't know about; I
don't know about cell phones.
TG: Yeah, you don't want to get one. They're nuts.
GM: But I do have the internet.
TG: [turns on cell phone] It'll take a second to warm
up. But I can take calls. I can talk to people calling
me from around the world. There are probably a lot of
Vancouver calls coming in right now. I was just on the
Global [TV network] afternoon news and I gave it out
there, too.
GM: Not a lot of celebrities give out their home
numbers.
TG: Yeah. I felt it was kind of a humorous thing to
do. That it was a certain extension of whatever I was
already doing on my blog where you can send me
e-mails, send me a picture of yourself doing something
wacky, then I respond to the e-mail. And I kind of
have a system on there where I'm encouraging people to
do cool funny stuff so that it kind of creates its own
content. [phone rings] 754. What area code is that?
[answers phone] Hello?... [girl's voice: 'Hello?']
Hello... [girl: 'Tom?'] Yes, yes... [girl: 'Oh, hey,
what's up? It's Kristy.'] Hey, Kristy, how are you
doing? Where are you calling from?... [girl: 'Uh,
south Florida.'] South Florida? Awesome. Cool. You
having a good day?... [girl: 'Uh, yeah.'] Hey, could
you do me a favour?... [girl: 'Sure, what's up?']
Well, I haven't had anyone call from south Florida
yet. I've had a lot of people call from central and
northern Florida, but no one from south Florida. And I
was wondering if you could maybe go put up some
posters for my website for me... [girl; inaudible]
Yeah, just make up some crudely drawn posters with a
marker maybe on pieces of paper and just stick them up
at your school or something like that. Or downtown.
[long pause] Just make them say, 'Go to tomgreen.com'
[girl: inaudible] Yeah, yeah, if you could just help
me out. I need all the help I can get, you know? And
take pictures of them and then e-mail me the pictures
on the website and I'll post them up on the web...
[girl: 'Hey Tom, I got a question for you.'] Okay, but
can you do that for me?... [girl: (pause) 'Yeah.']
Okay. But I don't think you're going to do it, though.
You don't sound like you're going to do it... [girl:
'I'm not inspired, but I'll do it.'] You're not
inspired by that?... [girl: 'I mean, I--'] I don't
want you to do it if--... [girl: inaudible] But you're
not inspired. You're not really going to get out and
slump through the rain and put up posters for me...
[girl: 'No, no, no! I gave you my word so I'll do it,
but the way you said it wasn't in an inspiring way.']
I'm kind of joking around a bit, too, because I'm in a
room right now and I'm being interviewed by a magazine
here in Vancouver. I hope I didn't come off as rude.
[girl: 'I don't know.'] Okay, cool. Well, fire off an
e-mail to me and send a picture of those posters up in
Florida. That'd be awesome. I'd appreciate it...
[girl: 'All right. I got a quick question. It won't
take much of your time.'] Okay, cool... [girl: 'Um, I
sent you a couple messages. You probably remember
(inaudible) and we're putting out a (inaudible) in
February (inaudible).'] I'm going to be in Italy for
the month of February. I'm corresponding from the
Olympics over there... [girl: 'For the whole month?']
For the whole month, yeah, unfortunately. But keep me
posted on your future endeavours, okay? [girl: 'Right
on, then.'] Thanks. Thank you. [girl: inaudible] All
right, cool. Thanks... [girl: 'Have a good
interview.'] You, too. Thanks. Bye.
GM: You're a man of the people.
TG: Yeah, it's kind of fun.
GM: You're Uncle Milty for a new millenium. You're
blazing a new trail.
TG: I have fun with it, you know? And it's nice to
talk to people that are into what you do, you know? Of
course, you get a lot of the noise out there. The big
voices out there tend to be more critical and are
usually more negative.
GM: The media?
TG: The media, yeah.
GM: They're whack. Somebody said that, 'The media's
whack.'
TG: Yeah, that's right.
GM: I heard that last night on a cd.
TG: Yeah, yeah, yeah. They can be whack.
GM: It was you, by the way, who said that. [his phone
rings again]
TG: It was, yes. But um... I'll turn it off. So you
know, it's nice to have a place out there where you
can kind of have unfiltered feedback. I get people
being negative on the internet, too, but most people
who come to my site are coming to my site because they
like my work and that's cool. It's kind of like a nice
place to check in, see how people are feeling about
things, you know. [phone rings again] I have a section
on my site now about the rap record; you can go listen
to all the songs and stuff. And you get the feedback.
So far, most people have liked the record. It's kind
of a nice feeling. I haven't had anybody e-mail me and
say they don't like the record.
GM: I guess the danger with giving out the number is
that you might get people calling you up saying you
suck, or something like that.
TG: Yeah, yeah, that's true. It hasn't happened yet,
though. Because I think most people, the people that
choose to call are kind of inspired by the idea
because it's ridiculous to give your cell phone
[number] out on the internet. It's kind of a
ridiculous idea. It's funny. That's kind of where the
truth comes out. If it's a good idea, the truth will
come out; if it's a bad idea you'll know pretty quick.
That's what I like about it.
GM: I've never interviewed a rapper before, so this is
a first for me.
TG: I've been rapping longer than most rappers out
there.
GM: Really? I know you did rap a long time ago. Is
that the first thing you did in the public eye?
TG: Pretty well, yeah. When I was just finishing high
school, we got a record deal with my rap group with
A&M Records.
GM: What was the group?
TG: It was called Organized Rhyme. It came out in
1992, so 13 or 14 years ago. We had a video on
MuchMusic. We won the Canadian Music Video Award that
year. We were nominated for a Juno. It was very
exciting. It was when I first went around and started
going on television shows and making appearances and
stuff like that. That was when I really, really
decided that what I really wanted to be was a
broadcaster or a comedian or do funny stuff.
GM: Was your rap group funny?
TG: It was, yeah. I mean, I was the funny part of the
group and the other rapper was a little more serious
about his rap.
GM: Kinda like DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince.
TG: Yeah, kinda like that. Kinda like that. Same area.
Or Beastie Boys. We loved them. But we also really
loved Public Enemy, we really loved A Tribe Called
Quest, which weren't funny.
GM: What are those guys from your group doing now?
TG: Greg lives here in Vancouver and still makes
music. He's doing kind of like sort of more electronic
kinda dance... I don't know how you'd describe it.
It's kinda real original kinda stuff. And Jordy, who
was our deejay, is in the high tech business.
GM: So you have some street cred as a rapper.
TG: I don't think so. I don't think I have street cred
as a rapper, no. Any street credibility that I would
have is... The people, I think, when they're involved
with hip hop and the rap community, they respect
people that are keeping it real. We're the keeping it
real crew. As long as you're honest, I think that's
where you can get some respect from people in the hip
hop community. They can smell a rat, you know? I
obviously love doing it. That's the reason I made the
record.
GM: It might be a bad sign that I actually like the
record.
TG: Yeah, it could very well be. It's not like some
gangsta thing. I rap about stuff that I find funny. I
make up funny fictional stories. I rap about things
that are true to my real life.
GM: Some songs are clearly stories and you're a
characer, but some are clearly true.
TG: Yeah, there's a mixture of that. I work with an
awesome producer, Mike Simpson, DJ EZ Mike from the
Dust Brothers, who scored the movie Freddie Got
Fingered. That's how we met. I told him that I rapped
and I had this group and I continued making music, so
I had tons of stuff that I had in my home studio, and
played it to him and stuff. And I was excited just to
know Mike because I don't know if you know the Dust
brothers, but they're huge. Really great. They
produced all of Beck's albums. They produced six songs
[for] the Rolling Stones. The Beastie Boys' Paul's
Boutique. And he got his start in the early days of
hip hop, he produced Tone-Loc's Wild Thing when he was
in college. He made the beat for that. And that kind
of launched him. And then he did Young MC's Bust a
Move. Essentially he was one of the early pioneers of
sampling and changed the way music is really written
today. So it's really kind of an exciting thing to be
working with him.
GM: Are you going to tour with him?
TG: We're going to tour. He's going to be spinning the
records in the back and deejaying live, which is also
really exciting. We're touring Canada in January.
GM: Is it really cathartic, because some of the lyrics
seem like you're getting stuff off your chest? Like
the Neighbourhood song.
TG: You know, that was a fun one to write because when
you move to Los Angeles, the first couple years you're
there, you're kind of somewhat excited when you run
into a celebrity. 'Wow, this is weird.'
GM: Even though you're one yourself.
TG: I guess. But at the time I certainly didn't, you
know, look at it that way. I was, 'Whoa, oh my God!'
So you would meet lots of people. Backstage at the
award shows and all this stuff. And 99.9 percent of
the people that you meet in your neighbourhood are
awesome, friendly, cool people. But I've had a few
negative experiences.
GM: There are a lot of people that you mention that
are just assholes, it seems.
TG: Well, to me they were. That doesn't necessarily
mean they are assholes; it just means that they maybe
don't like me particularly. (laughs)
GM: Right. But you might run into these people again.
Do you think there'll be any negative reaction?
TG: I don't know. I think it would probably be, in
their minds, at least, beneath them to acknowledge it.
You know, look, it's parody. You know, I don't think
that Paris Hilton would slap Jay Leno in the face if
she ran into him on the street because he made a joke
about her in his monologue. It's comedy. If you put
yourself out in the public eye, people are going to
make jokes.
GM: But they're true.
TG: They are true, yeah. Seventy-five percent of those
stories are true. Some of them are fun, fictional
things, like seeing Bel, Biv and DeVoe in the movie
theatre was obviously just a funny line. And obviously
ridiculous. And it rhymes with Steve-O and I came up
with a cool little story there. It was just fun. But
when I make a joke about Jimmy Fallon and say that he
dissed me on Saturday Night Live, he did! He got on
Saturday Night Live and he did this skit and he
basically implied that I was an untalented loser who
was riding on the coattails of his wife. That was the
joke. So I don't really feel it's that harsh by
responding by saying, 'I saw Jimmy Fallon/he dissed me
on the show/I guess he thought he was Chevy Chase/I
guess we'll never know.' I mean, we will never know
because all of his movies bombed. (laughs)
GM: You also said, 'I like seeing other people's
movies bomb.'
TG: I do. I do like that very much.
GM: But you don't like seeing your own bomb.
TG: No, I didn't. No.
GM: But now moreso because it's like, 'Now I'm not the
only one.'
TG: No, no. It was just a joke. I do like seeing some
of these people's movies bomb.
GM: Was it when you were hosting SNL that Jimmy Fallon
said that?
TG: No, it was a couple months later.
GM: So he was nice to you when you were there.
TG: He was a real disingenuous prick to me when I was
there. He acted like he was a real friendly guy, and
so on, and so happy to see me on the show. And then a
few weeks later, of course, he trash-talks me. Which
is fine. That's the way it works. That's comedy. But
if you're going to dish it out, you gotta expect to
take it back. Especially if you're going to attack
someone like me because I'm a loose cannon. I don't
really care. You know, Rex Murphy, he decides to write
about me in the Globe & Mail, the national newspaper,
this huge, conservative newspaper. And there were
three weeks in a row where I'd get calls from my
mother in Canada saying, 'My God, Rex Murphy just
didn't stop bagging on you.' And I would say to
myself, 'Why is Rex Murphy attacking me? He's a big
guy at the CBC. There are probably more important
things to be talking about.' There's probably better
punchlines - maybe not. Maybe there's not better
punchlines. Or maybe he can't come up with a better
punchline.' But to constantly be derailing me! I'm
just sitting in L.A. trying to raise money to make an
independent movie about a couple of guys making a road
trip across Canada, and shooting in Saskatchewan. I'm
just trying to bring several millions of dollars of
American money into Regina, Saskatchewan, to pay local
crews so I can make my crazy movie, and for some
reason Rex Murphy wants to go in the Globe & Mail and
attack me everyday just for being artistic. Yeah, so I
did some outrageous stuff when I was in my twenties: I
took a dead raccoon on the Mike Bullard show. So, I
mean, am I supposed to burn in hell for that? I was
just being creative. So you know, it's fun. It's a fun
thing. It's fun to then name my parrot after him and
do some goofy stuff on the internet.
GM: On the album you say you used to act funny; then
you got conservative in Hollywood. Is that true?
TG: Nah, it was sort of meant to be kind of an ironic
statement. It's kind of me saying this is what you're
forced to do when you go to Hollywood.
GM: But you were never really forced into anything,
were you?
TG: No, but I'm saying that the media makes you
question yourself and Hollywood makes you question
yourself. You do something really outrageous like suck
milk out of a cow's udder or make a movie like Freddie
Got Fingered, where you're biting an umbilical cord of
a newborn baby that you've delivered and then swinging
the bloody baby around above your head to revive it,
and then reviving it and it ends happily, it's
obviously an outrageous scene. It's obviously meant to
be shocking and silly but then you get every newspaper
in the world saying that you're, you know, a loser and
you think to yourself, 'Hmm, maybe I better put on a
tie.'
GM: That would make all the difference if you swing a
baby with a tie on.
TG: 'No, maybe I better not do that anymore because I
made people mad. Because I want to be a comedian, I
want to be a performer. I'm not going to be able to do
it anymore if I keep doing this crazy stuff.' That's
why all comedy ultimately ends up getting really
watered down because people have become afraid to put
themselves out there. And once they become afraid,
you've shaved off all the highs and all the lows. So
that's what that line means.
GM: So you're constantly second-guessing yourself?
TG: Well, not anymore. You have to get to that place.
You have to get to that place where you start to not
care and you ignore it. Sure, I'm a thin-skinned guy,
I'll admit it. If somebody trashes me in the Globe &
Mail, I just might name a parrot after him because I'm
upset. But you can't really let it control what you're
doing. If you want to really do what I want to do,
which is make funny stuff and be creative and do stuff
that is different, you can't let them point you in the
direction you're going to go. Because then you're
basically just going to become a Big Mac, you know? A
sanitized thing that everybody can sort of get into.
I'd rather do something that half the people hate and
half the people love more than anything they've ever
seen in their life. I'd rather be that because that's
who inspired me when I was growing up. When I was
growing up, I loved Public Enemy. But if I picked up
the Globe & Mail, they were calling them black power,
negative, violent. Shit, man, it sounds fucking cool
to me, Public Enemy. I'm not listening to that
[description]. I loved David Letterman growing up. In
the early years - people may forget this now - but a
lot of people thought he was a jerk. A rude jerk. I'll
take David Letterman's job anyday, his life, you know?
That's the dream, you know? Because 50 percent of
people thought he was a rude jerk, but 50 percent of
people loved seeing him be a rude jerk.
GM: The only problem is if 100 percent of the people
hate you.
TG: Yeah. I like the fact that 100 percent of old
people hate me. I like that.
GM: Were you worried about getting too big too fast?
Because your fame just hit, didn't it? You just all of
a sudden were doing Pepsi commercials and American
national TV.
TG: When I went on MTV, it was a bit of a surprise and
sort of an overwhelming year. I mean, I'd been doing
my show for seven years at that point.
GM: In Ottawa?
TG: In Ottawa, yeah. I'd been doing it for three years
on Rogers Cable and then the Comedy Network's a couple
of years. ... But I just kind of like to say how I
feel about things. That's what I love about the
internet, that's what I love about the rap record,
that's what I loved about writing my book, that's what
I loved about making Freddie Got Fingered, that's what
I enjoyed about making my show and this movie that I
shot this summer in Saskatchewan. There's an honesty
in there. And sometimes you kinda get, you know,
dragged through the coals if you're too honest. Some
people can take things, and that's kind of the risk
you take.
GM: On the album, you say, 'For all those people who
think this album is comedy....' Is it serious? It's
serious rap, but it's comedic. How would you define
it?
TG: Um... I try to not define it as a comedy record
even though it is funny and the lyrics are attempting
to be funny, at least. I'm trying to be funny and the
things I say are attempting to get a laugh. But I
think the second you define it as a comedy record,
then you don't know what it is and you're thinking
Weird Al Yankovic, parody songs, Adam Sandler records
- all of which is awesome and funny, but not really
what this is. I mean, it's the Dust Brothers making
beats. They made Paul's Boutique, they made Beck, they
made awesome hip-hop music. So it's got some cool to
it, too, just in music. I enjoyed flowing, not in a
comedic way - but I mean, I've been rapping for 15
years consistently and I enjoy the structure of
writing lyrics and the flow of rapping the lyrics
which isn't a comedic thing; it's about rhythm. So
that's not about comedy. To say it's a comedy record
is sort of negating and not informing people about all
of the other stuff on the record, which is rhythm...
Yeah, it's kinda both. But, you know, the Beastie Boys
were funny, Dela Sol is hilarious. If you listen to
the lyrics, it's hilarious stuff. Those are the groups
that inspired me. Tribe Called Quest? Funny metaphoric
comments and social commentary that's really clever
and funny.
GM: They didn't talk about poo-poo, though.
TG: Hmmm, a lot of people talk about poo-poo in rap
music. The thing about rap music that's fun is there's
a lot of words, okay? You listen to any rock'n'roll
song, they do a chorus and then they repeat it four
times and that's the song. But if you count the amount
of words, the amount of distinctive words not
repeated, in a rap song, it'll probably be about 100
times as many words as in a rock song. So you can say
a lot. Lots of poo-poo when we're talking rap.
GM: You did say, 'I'm no comedian.' Is that the
character in that particular song or do you think that
in general, that you're no comedian?
TG: I say it more in reference to the record and it's
sort of part of clarifying that idea. But I've also
never really traditionally thought of myself as a
comedian. The first time someone referred to me as a
comedian, I remember it seemed like a surprise. But
then I liked it.
GM: You did Yuk Yuk's, right?
TG: Yeah, I did. I did standup when I was 15 years old
and 16 years old.
GM: How was that?
TG: It was very fun. They called me Little Tommy Green
from Down the Street at the club. It was fun but it
was difficult because I was so young. I was sort of
standing up in front of drunken college kids wearing
my dad's blazer and a pair of beige pants trying to be
David Letterman essentially. It was difficult because
it was very intimidating being that young and standing
up in front of all these older people. Part of standup
is you're saying stuff that everyone can relate to and
they have to relate to you. And I was younger than
everyone in the audience so I had to do sort of silly
jokes. It was fun. I was fairly good. I did amateur
night for a year and then I started opening up shows
and going out of town. But right when I was kind of at
the cusp of actually maybe starting to become a little
bit more polished, our rap group got this record deal.
Actually, a recording deal, not a record deal. A
recording deal and we went to New York for the summer
and recorded with the producer in New York and lived
there. And I just kind of stopped doing standup and
started rapping.
GM: Would you ever do standup again?
TG: Yeah, I definitely would. I definitely will. I
think I'll probably do something more personal,
though, like a show kind of thing, like a performance,
where it's more talking about funny things that
have... You know, I'd like to do that someday. When I
have a second, I would like to do that.
GM: When you walk down the street, does everyone
expect you to be 'on' all the time?
TG: Uh... yeah, kinda. Usually when I meet people in a
social setting, usually when I'm introduced to someone
from a friend of a friend of a friend, usually after
15, 20 minutes they'll walk away and tell somebody
that they thought I was going to be crazy and they
were surprised that I didn't throw a vase against the
wall or something like that, you know?
GM: It would be impossible to be like that all the
time.
TG: That's why I tend to be somewhat deadpan. I like
to instantly set the tone. I'm not going to jump up on
the couch right now. Don't ask me to jump up on the
couch. So but, you know, it's fine, it's cool.
Everything's cool. I like that misperception
sometimes. It's cool. It gives me access to the
element of surprise, which is important, when people
don't know what they're going to get. It gives me a
lot of tools. I was on the Global newscast this
morning and ended up staying on the whole newscast.
They had me on for six minutes to talk about my record
and I ended up staying on the whole newscast and did
the sports with the sports guy. And I could tell when
I went in that they were nervous. Like, they were
worried, you know, because they thought I was going to
embarrass them or something. It was awesome because we
ended up doing a great show. It was really funny. I
turned my cell phone on; the phone was ringing through
the entire newscast; taking calls and the phone was
cracking out in the studio; the phone was ringing
through the entire sportscast; everyone was laughing
and having a good time. There was no reason for
anybody to... I'm never going to pull something on
somebody like that. I have in the past, but I don't do
that much anymore.