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GREG PROOPS - March 5, 2002
GUY MACPHERSON: You're this big Commonwealth star,
right? Australia, England, Canada.
GREG PROOPS: Yes, anyone who's an Anglophone.
GM: You mean speaks English or likes Great Britain?
GP: No, anyone who speaks English. Not an Anglophile.
GM: Geez, you're good.
GP: I AM good. Stay with me!
GM: I'll try to. SLOW DOWN!
GP: Yeah, anywhere they speak English, you can make a
buck doing
comedy. That's my motto.
GM: You've even played the United Arab Emirates.
GP: I have.
GM: What do they speak there?
GP: They speak English. They speak Arabic, obviously,
but they speak
English, as well. It was a British protectorate until
'71. I also just went there with Drew Carey and a
bunch of guys to entertain the troops. We did improv
for them.
GM: In the UAE?
GP: In the UAE and Dubai and... well, Dubai is in the
UAE, sorry. Also we did Oman and Saudi Arabia.
GM: The previous time you played there, was it for
troops?
GP: This time it was for troops but when I played
there before it was for,
like, British ex-pats. You know, they all work for oil
companies over there and they don't get a lot of
entertainment.
GM: And how did it go?
GP: Well, it killed, didn't it? I mean, they're
grateful to have me there. They're excited that you
would come because it's a bit of a hike, so they're
pretty appreciative, obviously.
GM: I'm hooked on your show now, I want you to know.
GP: Rendez-View?
GM: Yeah. I'm hooked on all those dating shows. What
is it about them that interests me so?
GP: Well, I think it's the perversity of human nature.
The initial question when you start watching it is why
would anyone do this? And then you realize it's so
that they can be humiliated in front of the whole
world and it's for your enjoyment.
GM: They're in on it, is that it? The fact that they
want to be humiliated.
GP: Well, the price you have to pay for being on
television is to have your life completely ruined and
exposed, so I think they're asking for it, aren't
they?
GM: Yeah.
GP: Because it's not like they're out there
performing, like telling jokes or singing a song or
reading a script. They're being themselves, which is
probably the worst thing of all, right?
GM: Yeah, as far as they can be themselves with
cameras pointed at them
wherever they go.
GP: Well, you know how natural you feel when you're on
a date with someone that you've been fixed up with
through a production company, with a crew of guys and
a production company telling you to make the talk
sexier. You know how comfortable that is.
GM: Yeah, we've all been through that.
GP: Yeah, who hasn't? You know, they get a hundred
bucks and a chance
to be on TV. And all these people live in Los Angeles,
so, you know, they
want to be on TV.
GM: A hundred bucks?!
GP: Yeah, as far as I know.
GM: I wonder if anyone will go on to become a
superstar.
GP: Yeah, of course. One of them will and then when
they're really big,
they'll show their blind date on TV.
GM: Right, like they do with some actors who were on
the Dating Game.
GP: Exactly. Of course one of them by sheer chance or
luck or some sort
of horrible stroke of kismet will end up being a
gigantic superstar.
GM: You're sitting there taking pot shots at them,
making fun of them,
they don't ever come and hunt you down, do they?
GP: Please don't even bring that up, Guy. I'm hoping
that they all have a
good sense of humour and that they're all good sports.
You know, it's all
in good fun, isn't it?
GM: The creators of Blind Date created your show,
right?
GP: Yeah.
GM: Why would they feel they would have to make
another dating show?
GP: Well, they're in the business of making dating
shows. They already
have the whole operation set up, crews,
post-production facility -- you
know, because we require an inconceivably huge amount
of editing, right?
Because they take eight hours worth of a date and it
takes so much editing
to get an 8-hour date down to, like, six minutes, or
whatever it is. So I
guess they figured a cost-effective way to get another
show out of their
show was to, since they have the apparatus all in
place, to tape dates and
everything. Frankly, I think this is a funnier idea
than Blind Date.
GM: I find Blind Date a little distracting because
you're trying to listen and read at the same time.
It's like watching CNN with all those things
underneath. You can't pay attention to two things at
once.
GP: Yeah, I agree. And it's much funner to have a
bunch of people sit
around and talk about it.
GM: Exactly. But that brings up another question: An
eight hour-date?! How painful would that be?
GP: It's a whole day, man. It's a whole day. It's
fairly painful, that's my presumption. And you're only
getting the highlights, so imagine the hours of ennui
in between that you're being spared.
GM: I think for a special they should have you and
your co-host and the
celebrities go on a date. Oh, but you're married,
though, aren't you?
GP: I'm married, right. I go on dates almost every
night.
GM: You're doing your stand-up here in Vancouver, and
you're well-known for being an improv comic. Did you
start in stand-up or improv?
GP: Both. I probably started doing stand-up first, but
I started doing
improv in college a hundred years ago. So I've always
done both.
GM: There's not a lot of crossover, is there? I mean,
the best stand-ups
aren't the best improvisers, are they? And vice versa.
GP: Frankly, Guy, not everyone's as incredibly
talented and clever as I am
and I think that's what holds them back from doing
both... No, most people make a choice at a certain
point.
GM: Right. I used to see Ryan Stiles when he was here
in Vancouver
starting out.
GP: Yeah, he was a stand-up.
GM: He was a great stand-up.
GP: Was he good?
GM: Oh yeah, he was really good. Then he made that
choice to go to
improvising.
GP: And Drew was a stand-up, too, and then, of course,
had his own show,
and then he learned the improv later. I did stand-up
from a teenager on
and also the improv. So I've just been lucky enough to
do both, frankly. I
guess you just choose whatever seems like it's going
to be funner at the
time.
GM: And you don't prefer one over the other. You like
them both,
obviously, because you haven't chosen yet.
GP: I do. They're both so different and so fun in
their own way. You know,
when you're with all the guys, it's like you're in a
band and you can just
do whatever you want with each other. You don't
necessarily have to
carry the ball every minute. And when you do stand-up,
of course, you have to rely on yourself completely.
GM: Improv is so collaborative. You have to be a team
player. But in
standup, your persona is as a sarcastic, not the
friendliest guy, not a
people person.
GP: Well, I'm not there to be your friend. I'm there
to be your comedian
and that's a big difference. Your friends have really
bad jokes and I have
good jokes.
GM: Doing improv, it's like a little community. You
gotta be supportive of
your fellow performer.
GP: One would think, Guy... I joke. Of course we are.
We have a lot of fun. And the other thing is we really
entertain each other, which makes it
good. We can always sit back and watch each other and
laugh. And that's
what makes the show funnest of all, I think. I mean, I
love doing standup
because no one fucks with you, you're in control,
there's no outside
influence. You know what I mean?
GM: Yeah.
GP: You create your own world. The thing you can't do
is people a world
full of lots of people, which you can do with an
improv group. You can
make a Shakespeare play, you can make a giant thing
which is harder to
do by yourself, I think. And then you get the
different moods. Where would we be without having
Colin [Mochrie] come in? Or Brad [Sherwood], or
whatever.
GM: They bring something of their own that you have to
play off of.
GP: Exactly. And then you get more interplay and you
can set up different
types of situations. You can do dialogue.
GM: I read that you did the whole Wizard of Oz.
GP: I did, and what a magnificent achievement that was
on my part. I played every part in it and I read the
whole thing. It was for Radio Four
in Britain.
GM: Man!
GP: Yeah, I know. And don't think I didn't feel bored
by the material. That's a lot of stuff and it's not
like it's a story that people don't know, you know?
You've got something to live up to there, so I tried
to do what I could without besmirching it too bad. I
don't think I left it bleeding. It survived my reading
of it.
GM: I was reading from a newspaper article of 1998,
and I don't know if
the joke predates that, but you say in your stand-up,
"This country" --
meaning the USA -- "is a 13-year-old boy with an
erection and a gun
stomping around the globe." I was wondering, can you
still do that joke
in these politically sensitive times?
GP: Why not?
GM: Well, I would say, yeah, why not, but I'm
wondering about the people
who are listening.
GP: Well, you know, I will probably be doing it up
there in Vancouver if
you promise not to tell everyone the date of it. I did
it all this weekend
in San Fransisco. Yeah, I still maintain the same
point of view even despite after the great tragedy and
the war we're waging and all this. I'm not moved from
my position, which is that we're immature,
overly-violent,
imperialistic, and, of course, it's hilarious the way
I handle it.
GM: Well, of course.
GP: (laughs) Bush wasn't elected by the American
people so for my money, that absolves me of any guilt
of ripping on him. He got elected by the Supreme
Court. I didn't elect the Supreme Court, therefore
he's not my president. I'm not responsible for his
shitty activities.
GM: After the first, say, month or so after September
11, were you a little more wary and just in time
you've come to resolve that, "Yeah, I can still talk
about this"?
GP: Well, yeah, slightly, but I think that your job is
-- well, I perceive my job as this, let's not use the
collective fourth person and say 'your job' -- MY job
as a comedian as I see it is to react to what's going
on and try to be honest to how I feel. I, of course,
am sensitive to the audience and am trying to serve
their needs, but I'm also not going to try to pretend
to be somebody I'm not. I'm a patriotic person. I
don't cheat on my taxes. I vote. Putting a flag on
your car and all of a sudden telling people that they
can't disagree anymore, that's not patriotic, in my
view. Dissent is all American. That's why we're
supposed to be a democracy because we can dissent. And
when you are not allowed to dissent, that's when
you're Russia. Or Saudi Arabia, for that matter. So my
feelings were, obviously I was shocked, appalled, and
saddened by everything that's happened. I just don't
agree with Bush's approach after. There was a time
where you weren't allowed to say anything about
anything. And that's dissipated somewhat. And I think
it's only healthy that it should. He actually said at
one point you're either with us or against us. And
that's not something a president says; that's
something a sherrif in a bad movie says.
GM: But that's where he gets his ideas, isn't it?
GP: Well, he has no ideas. Where Dick Cheney gets his
ideas from somewhere, because Dick Cheney's the
president. He's got that Yelt health. They drag him
out every six weeks for five minutes and prop him up
in front of the cameras so he can make some
declamation.
GM: Your stand-up act is a little more frank, a little
more salty, shall we say, than people see on TV,
obviously. You can't say certain things on TV.
GP: Yeah. Exactly.
GM: And I was wondering if that ever hurts you. This
is where I think
censorship is bad: People see you on TV and think
you're clean so they'll
go see you live. They bring their kids and go, "What
the hell is this all
about?" Do you understand what I'm trying to say?
GP: Absolutely. I'm up against it all the time.
Especially because they
perceive you as that persona you are on TV. Like, on
Whose Line, obviously I'm a smartenhammer. I'm the
slightly snotty one -- but I'm still
particularly lovable. And then, of course, live I'm
profane. I'm not dirty, because there's I don't talk
about sex a lot, but I use profanity and I'm very
honest in my political opinions and if they're not
ready for that, they could get upset. But most people
go with it. I think they're interested to see how your
persona on TV is different from how you really are.
You know what I mean? Because I was up against this in
England for years when I lived there. I toured the
island a bunch of times. And I'm up
against it here in America, obviosuly. Because
everyone hasn't seen me
do stand-up. They're used to me in other things. It's
kind of fun for me
to change people's minds or change their perception.
GM: Of, if they do see your stand-up, it's on a talk
show where, again,
there's no profanity.
GP: Yeah, and you're neutered a little bit. I mean, if
people are upset
by profanity, then they shouldn't really leave the
house. So fuck 'em, you
know? That's the least of my problems.
GM: It's kind of similar to music, where we get these
sanitized versions
of songs or groups and parents take their kids to
their shows and go
'Won't this be fun!' and it turns out it's a wild sex
show.
GP: Right, right, right. Yeah, I understand that
concern. I would say bring your kids. And be ready for
adult language and opinions expressed in an adult
manner. I assume it's not 21 or over. I assume anybody
can come.
And the thing about Whose Line is it turned out to be
a family show, which I never really anticipated. It's
one of the shows families watch
together.
GM: Why hadn't you anticipated that and why do you
think that is?
GP: Um, I don't know. Even though in England lots of
kids watch the show,
which is always a sign that families are watching. I
never anticipated how
popular it would be with families here, you know what
I mean? We have
our hardcore group of people that watch us every week.
We're up against
Friends and Survivor, man. And parents come up to me
and say 'our
daughter loves your show.' Kids come up and go, 'I
watch it with my mom.' There's a lot more of a need
for it, frankly, than I thought. Because there's not
that many shows you can watch with your kids. Try to
explain to your seven-year-old that people are fucking
each other over for a million dollars on Survivor. Or
someone just said 'penis' or 'whore' on a
sitcom, which they do now. I mean, Friends is racier
than our show. We do a lot of penis-type humour, but
it goes over the kids' heads and you can still enjoy
the kind of goofiness that we provide. We're silly.
We're not
intentionally trying because none of us consider
ourselves family-type
performers. But we've become a family show, you know
what I mean?
GM: How are the ratings? Is it still going strong?
GP: We've been at the same kind of ratings for the
whole time that we've
been on. We hold our own and it's not coming off the
air because it's cheap to make, and when they cancel
shows on ABC, they put us in their
place. We're a workhorse. And now we're on ABC Family
Channel, Comedy
Central, we're on, like, three networks now.
GM: And you're not leaving despite moving on and doing
Rendez-View or
different things?
GP: As long as they'll have me, I'll stay. Why would I
complain about it? I started to do it 13 years ago in
England and I never, ever, ever thought I'd be doing
it now. You know what I mean? You don't start doing
something
and think it's going to last, really. You figure it'll
be over in a year. But it's really been fun. And it's
been really lucky for me. I've got to meet Drew Carey
and work with him. It's been cool. And we go out on
the road, the group of us.
GM: Yes, you were through here a year or two ago.
GP: Exactly. And I think we're back this year.
GM: Are you tired of the references to your hair and
glasses? Every article I read mentions it.
GP: Well, you know, people need a hook to write a
piece about me.
GM: I'm not gonna use that hook!
GP: Well, you don't have to. They say, 'He's Buddy
Holly' or some bloody,
fucking glasses reference. But I have definitely
chosen to look this way.
And I continue to choose to look this way.
GM: Is that in part to be identifiable? Or is that
just the way you chose to look and you'd look that way
even if you were working in an office somewhere?
GP: Yeah, I like it. I kinda dig the look.
GM: Well, it works.
GP: Thanks, man.
GM: And you say wear a suit because you're an adult.
GP: (laughs) You've read all the stuff!
GM: I've read it all. Is it just when you're working
or when you're out on
the town, too?
GP: I wear it sometimes when I'm hanging around. I
feel like it's showing
the audience a little respect. You actually made an
effort to show up and
wear something. You know, at the theatre, people are
paying whatever
they're paying. Thirty bucks, or something. It's their
night out. They've
come to see me, and I can afford to dress up and look
like a human
being. And also, like I say, I'm a grown-up guy. I'm
too old to wear a t-shirt and jeans on stage and
pretend I'm twelve.
GM: Yeah, they want to know your money's going to
clothing and not to
crack, or something like that.
GP: Well, it goes to crack, too. I portion part of the
crack budget to clothes.
GM: Was this your style before you went to England?
Because they're more
sophisticated over there?
GP: It kind of grew on me gradually. When I was
younger, I wore wilder
clothes. Even on the old Whose Line, a little more
rock'n'roll. But as you
cross the 40 line... To be honest, I would dress like
Keith Richard if I
could get away with it. If I looked like a rock star.
If I weighed three pounds, I'd love to dress like
that. But I don't look like that, so I dress the way I
dress. Also, I'm into that Sinatra, Temptations thing
-- look sharp.
GM: You got class.
GP: I'm trying to bring a little style into the thing.
I like to show a little style because I appreciate it.
GM: How did they get you over to England? How did that
happen? And why
are you so big there?
GP: I auditioned for Whose Line in '89 in San
Fransisco and I got on the
show that year. They had come to America to look for a
test. And the next
year, Ryan and Colin joined. And I stayed in England
for four years, at one point. I lived there. And I
toured the country four times and the Edinburough
festival I've done about eight times. And I've done
lots of TV
and radio over there. So I think that's why I've been
able to capture a little more English crowd. It's a
small place for having 58 million people.
GM: We don't have that many in our huge land mass.
GP: No, you do not.
GM: You're an opinionated guy in your stand-up. What's
got your goat
lately?
GP: Oh, everything. You know. The Olympic coverage in
America.
GM: What's wrong with it?
GP: I don't know if you watch it on NBC at all. My
joke is that it took me
to the closing ceremonies to realize that there were
other countries
invited and that it's actually an international event.
NBC would give you
no indication that anybody else was there. We could
finish 16th in an
event and that's all they talk about it, is us. For
instance, I was watching and a Finn won a skiing
event. And they went right to the American who had won
the silver. They didn't even interview the guy that
actually won the freaking event. And that's the kind
of play that they think works with the American crowd.
Everything's a big long personality profile. Their mom
had a giant elephant head and their dad was born in a
corn crib. The whole soap-operafication of sport,
which I don't think needs fake drama put on it. Sport
is dramatic. People like it.
GM: But you don't think we should get to know the
people who are
providing the drama?
GP: Absolutely, but you should also get to know the
Finns and the Austrians and the Germans and the
Russians and the Canadians.
GM: In fact, this year, more than any, the two
Canadian skaters who whined their way to a gold medal
were big news on NBC.
GP: Oh, sure. And basically, the thing that kept
playing here was that the
media had pressured Samaranch into bending. And it's
probably true in
part. Part of why he yielded and gave them the medal
was because the
perception of the IOC right now is so fucking horrible
with the world that
they're seen as this horrible, hideous, corrupt
organization. They were
just trying to make something right, I think, in front
of the public.
GM: I think I have an idea why you're popular in Great
Britain, other than
being funny. Maybe you have a more international scope
or outlook than
some more insular American comics.
GP: I guess. Yeah, I'd probably agree with that. I
can't bear that whole 'We're number one' jazz, you
know? Because it's not true.
GM: Who is number one?
GP: Nobody! You go to the rest of the world, and
people live their lives
in their own little country. They're not sitting
around worrying about
whether we're number one or not. It's a particular
American concern that
we're the best at something. And it's irrelevent,
frankly. And also, part
of the backlash after September 11th is that somehow
we're a victim and
we've got to show the rest of the world that we're
tough, and all this jazz. It's true that we were
victimized, but we're not the only victim in the
world... I'm trying to be funny about this, and I'm
starting to sound
pedantic instead of actually being humorous on this
topic.
GM: In your act you will be.
GP: Yeah, well, I thought it would be good in the
interview to give you
something funny to put down. But Bush had never been
anywhere until he
became president. Literally. He'd never been to
another country.
GM: Really?
GP: Yeah. Except Mexico on, like, a weekend. He'd
never been to Europe or
anywhere. So his view of the world was completely
stunted. So I just feel
like nationalism is a good thing, but it's a dangerous
thing, too. Nationalism makes things like Bosnia
happen.
GM: Or Germany.
GP: Exactly. I'm proud to be American and all that
jazz. It's just that I don't think that dominating the
world proves your number... Oh God! Now
I'm just... This is just... I've turned into, like,
Noam Chomsky without the humour or the facts to back
it up.
GM: Yeah, he's a funny guy.
GP: Is he ever! So there's that. And lately I've been
laughing at, we're
starting a drug war in Columbia. We're aiding in their
drug war, but
actually about a hundred million dollars is going to
check the oil pipeline. Because one of the biggest
problems in the drug war is people freebasing gasoline
here in the United States. And I've been watching the
war crimes trial with Milosovic, who's running his
'What? I'm the bad guy?' defence. Which is the weakest
defence ever.
GM: He might want to rethink that one.
GP: They're like, 'You committed genocide'. "Yeah,
well you did some bad
things, too.' That's all he's got. There are a lot of
things that are up my ass right now. The Oscars. They
refuse to give one to a black person.
GM: I think there was one. I think Sidney Pottier got
one once.
GP: Yeah, Sidney Pottier's got one and no black
woman's got one ever.
Denzel's played Stephen Biko and he's played Malcolm X
and Hurricane
Carter. But they're going to wait until he plays a
pimp so that everyone
feels comfortable. You know, lots of things on my
mind. We may even
have a chat about the Canadian pig farmers up in
Vancouver.
GM: Oh yeah! A goldmine of comedic material!
GP: The Vancouver police department got all over that
one, didn't they?
GM: How have you been following this?
GP: I've been reading the paper and following it on
the web. It's because
they were women that they were killing.
GM: And sex workers.
GP: Exactly. So you kill a rich white guy and the
police are going to be all over it. You kill a woman
who's a prostitute and, hey, boys will be boys, you
know?
GM: You've played a lot of clubs throughout your
career. Now you're playing a theatre, and I guess
you're doing a lot more of that as your star rises. Is
it completely different? Obviously they're coming to
see you specifically. They know you. You go to a club
and sometimes they don't
know who the comic's going to be. But what about
playing to that many
people at once?
GP: Oh, I really enjoy it. The timing's different. You
can do a lot more broader strokes and you can
physicalize more and take up the stage. Like I said, I
toured England four times and those were all in
theatres. And with
Drew, we just did Las Vegas. We played a giant theatre
there. We've done
that a lot. Last year in Vancouver, we played a big
theatre.
GM: Yeah, but that's a whole cast of people. This is
just one guy prowling
a big stage.
GP: Well, I'm going to prowl a lot. I'm going to get
from one end of the
stage to the other. I try to make it not broader, but
slightly bigger so that everyone can hit it in the
back row. And it's a lot of fun. Because people are
coming to see you, it's your ball, you know, and only
I have the chance to fuck it up and be bad. Everyone
wants you to be good, so I'm
gonna be good. I think the audience is more
uncomfortable when you're
bad than you are. There's nothing worse than watching
a comic who's
self-conscious or nervous so I try to not be either of
those things and
then everybody feels comfortable.
GM: Will there be other comics sharing the bill?
GP: Hell if I know... I assume there might be a little
warm-up set, but I'm really not sure. But I won't
cheat you. I'll give you a long show. Not like a Bruce
Springsteen show. Not five hours or anything.
GM: The hardest working man in comedy.
GP: Exactly. I promise to collapse at the end and be
carried from the stage and be brought back on for one
last penis reference.